The small me, a phrase that I picked up from Jim Carrey of all people when Seinfeld was interviewing him in the show Comedians Getting Coffee.
When I get triggered I become the small me, the me that gets angry, blames, throws tantrums. Once I started to get to know the small me, now I can see him walk in and I can just show him the door.. 'that's right, keep on moving buddy, on your way'.
Don't let the small you take control, just let them pass on through.
No explanations, no reasoning, no fighting necessary.
Get skin in the game.